Rotten's Book of Poems - *New Poem - 07-10-2008*

Discussion non-related

Are These Poems Good Enough To Sell In A Book?

Yes, Everybody should/would buy the Book!!!
14
56%
Yes, But I Don't Think Anyone Would Buy...
3
12%
No, They're not even good enough to post!
1
4%
No, But They're not that bad...
7
28%
 
Total votes: 25

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Sun Mar 20, 2005 4:44 pm

I have uploaded a Word file that contains all my poems... The poems in that document do differ from the ones posted here, me and Oblivious have gone through all the poems and changed them where we saw fit. (Thanks for the Help Oblivious)

So if you want to read the final versions of my poems please Download this File

(remember it's a Word Document)

And yet again: Comments and Feedback are welcome!!!
Image Image

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Thu Mar 24, 2005 10:52 pm

Wishful Thinking

Now I wish it is all true,
The lies, that are told to us,
About the life hereafter,
About what will happen after this

‘Cause where are you now,
If it is all untrue,
If all the Gods are one big lie,
Then tell me where are you?

Now I wish it all is true,
Everything I have despised.
Please let there be an afterlife,
Let me pray if the need arrives.

Let there be a God,
For those who need him most.
‘Cause, even though I can’t explain,
I won’t believe your soul is lost

-----------------------------------

A Look, A Touch

Your Empty words don't help me,
they are nothing more then words,
a look, a touch,
Now that's saying much,
Especially when it hurts...

-----------------------------------

Just Cry

I won’t ask you to dry your tears,
I don’t want you to swallow fears.

You can cry, you can weep,
You can let out the fears you keep.

Show me your anger, hope and fear,
Show me your love for those not here.

I won’t stop you from crying out,
I don’t want to know what it’s about.

Now just cry and don’t explain,
Now just cry out this pain…

-------------------------------------

Things I did and didn’t do

I did not cry, no water from my eyes,
I did not speak, no last goodbyes,
I did not scream, no final shout,
I did feel hurt, but not out loud…

-------------------------------------

Four poems at once... and I would like to explain why: A sad thing has given me more inspiration then ever before, everytime I want to write a poem I can now... My Granpa Died and I had to burry him today, I felt like shite, but didn't cry. I showed no emotions while in hte service... I think it is all coming out in the form of poems now.

Please Feedback, Comments and Ideas would once more be nice... You don't have to reply here, you can also PM, mail or contact me on MSN... anytime...
Image Image

User avatar
Bunnette
Posts: 3090
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2003 1:21 am
Location: The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby Bunnette » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:55 pm

They are truely beautiful.....really!!! :cry:

...and like I said to you - it *is* OK to cry. :f-hug:
Image

User avatar
[FnG] Rambo
Posts: 2103
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2004 11:22 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rambo » Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:43 pm

These poem are...well...im not sure what the word is (yet)....but it's definately a positive word ;)

I know exactly how you felt at that funeral Emu....

Now I wish it all is true


For some people Emu, it is! And that's what got me through....
"I'll be there in a minute, I'm just killing soulkiss..." - Rambo
"Rambo - Destroyer of Lifts" - Sphinx

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:50 pm

Look at me

You don’t hear the things I say
I move my lips but you look away
You ask me why I did those things today
I answer but you look away

You don’t care for an explanation
I can’t fulfill your expectation
You live in the same spoiled nation
Where I get my inspiration.

Now look at me,
When I talk to you.
Now look at me
and see what’s true.
Now look at me
and hear my words.
Now look at me
and see what hurts.

You still won’t listen
You still don’t care
You just keep dissin
This isn’t fair
I no longer speak.
I no longer explain.
I might be a freak,
But I Do feel pain
Image Image

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:53 pm

Note: The text posted below are actually Lyrics for a song... but it's still quite "Poem-like" I started makin it right after Phoenix-Deus (he was here for a short while, rl friend of mine) thought up the first 2 lines...

Grim Reaper

An AK forty Seven
To shoot everyone to heaven.
Here and there a grenade,
To get rid of the hate.
‘cause in death all unite,
Now go to that light.
No more anger and fear,
That’s why I’m here.

The Grim Reaper is here, to take you away.
We don’t have enough time, so do as I say.
Do not fight with this man, let it all go.
Now leave this today for a better tomorrow

No more anger and fear,
That’s why I’m here.
I will end my task,
Without a mask
So they know it was me
Who set them all free
Almost done with my task,
But why? You might ask

The Grim Reaper is here, to take you away.
We don’t have enough time, so do as I say.
Do not fight with this man, let it all go.
Now leave this today for a better tomorrow

Almost done with my task,
But why? You might ask.
I need not to explain
‘cause you think I’m insane.
But the answer is near,
If you look past your fear.
I’ve freed you of this,
Did work that was his

The Grim Reaper is here, to take you away.
We don’t have enough time, so do as I say.
Do not fight with this man, let it all go.
Now leave this today for a better tomorrow

I’ve freed you of this,
Did work that was his.
A gun I had held,
Some grenades on my belt
But I shouldn’t have tried
I had not the right.
To take life from you,
But now what to do!

Grim Reaper please come, please take me away.
I did not have the right, I’ll do as you say.
I know my sins, you don’t need to show.
Now take me away for a better tomorrow.

The Grim Reaper has come ,and took me away.
No longer in here, I don’t hear what you say.
Forgot all my sins, I don’t need to know,
I only want asked, is there a better tomorrow…
-----------------------------

As always: Comments, Ideas, Suggestions, Feedback... it's all welcomed with open arms! I want to get better at this and I can't do that without ur help!
Image Image

User avatar
[FnG] pyxie.T32
Posts: 5403
Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2003 2:37 pm
Location: London UK
Contact:

Postby [FnG] pyxie.T32 » Thu Apr 07, 2005 2:50 pm

Nice again Emu, I think the 4 at once were better than this last one though, although this one is good it seems less powerful in a way, not sure how to describe.
I *heavily* suggest you read 'Ode on Melencholy' and 'The Fall of Hyperion: A Dream' By John Keats., He wrote some damn fine poetry, some bad stuff to but mostly good. He was from the Romantic era of poetry writing but that is just a style, his actual work was often heavily grim and influenced by the many losses in his (short but eventful) life
Image
Gravity, not just a good idea, ...It's the LAW!

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Thu Apr 07, 2005 4:17 pm

[FnG]~pixie~ wrote:Nice again Emu, I think the 4 at once were better than this last one though, although this one is good it seems less powerful in a way, not sure how to describe.


The last one are actually Lyrics, not a poem... so perhaps that might explain a bit...
Image Image

User avatar
[FnG] Kaidan Fenix
Posts: 2928
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 8:42 pm
Location: Uithuizermeeden (don't ask)
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Kaidan Fenix » Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:07 pm

yeah you should leave the lyrics to me bro. But still the poems are great.
I also got my own phoenix poem that I made:

Tears gently roll down my face,
Leaving a wet and shiny trace.
For now I know that I will shine bright,
Because nobody can ignore the light.
Get the weapon of self relief,
And put it against my soul.
Cause I don’t feel like living in this grief,
I will end it with a hole.
As Death grasps around my soul,
Entering it though the bullet hole.
Take this fire and set me alight,
Make me win this unending fight.
And when my body becomes ashes that rain,
And when my soul becomes the same,
I can arise, a phoenix from the flame,
And be rid of this awful empty pain.
Image
Michael Jackson wrote:This is what I do when I see an Xbox360. . .I turn 360 degrees and moonwalk away, whoo hoo!

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:34 pm

wow I never actually saw that one before... sorry about that... I should look at this more often :wink:, Great Poem Phoenix

anyways, the reason I opened this thread again, I got some additions to my "book"

I Dream of You

You were in my dreams tonight,
But I don’t think you'll ever know.
When you look deep into my eyes,
Perhaps one day I’ll let it show.

I don’t know what to do now.
In my dreams it was all so clear,
All felt good, all felt right,
I walked up to you and had no fear.

But I know in reality it is not so,
‘cause in reality I do fear you
And the reaction you will give,
You’ll say no, then what will we do?

I will not bother you with dreams,
Because what do they really mean?
They are nothing more then thoughts
Inside my head, they go unseen…

----------------------------------------------------------------

Or All of the Above

Look in my eyes and see
Through this disguise of me
Please see what I hold Within
Please see the places I’ve been.
Look past the water in my eyes,
Something must have caused these Cries.
I don’t expect you to know.
I just want you to show
Some compassion or love
Or all of the above…

----------------------------------------------------------------

Whatever you will…

When my dreams turn to dust once more
but no longer vacuum the mess it leaves.
Wouldn’t it hen be better, if I forgot them all together?
Just leave them what they are, just dreams.
‘cause every time I try, a dream is lost,
Lost in reality, lost in the truth I despise…

When I look at you I know that it’s…
Not what I want it to be, it’s…
Just when I look at you I realize, realize it’s…
A dream, and nothing more, a figment
Of my imagination, and nothing more…
Then why do I value these dreams so?

When you look back I wonder, can you
See my thoughts, read my mind, can you
Know what goes on in my head and do you
Feel the same as me? reach out,
Reach for my hand and hold my love,
It’s yours to take, to break, whatever you will…

----------------------------------------------------------------

I nodded

I felt betrayed
as if stabbed in the back
I did not understand
When you said what I lack.
It was not at all
Harsh or cold hearted
It was the truth
This I knew so I nodded.

I had so much to say
About my feelings for you
But it was all to late
When you said we where through.
The rose no longer grew
Now it just rotted
But it was for the best
This I knew so I nodded

I wanted to shake
My head out of anger
But the fools hope
I had left wasn’t stronger
Then the realization
Of the words you just said
I knew you where right
So I just nodded…

----------------------------------------------------------------

Would You?

If I would die today
What would everybody say
Would you even care
If I was no longer there?

If I would die
Would someone cry?
Would you come to say goodbye?

Do you even notice
That I’m around?
What if I would disappear
If I no longer would be here?
Would you miss me?

‘cause if you would go
And let no one know
I would miss you
I would look for you
I would not rest until I found you.

But when I do
Will you thank me
Will you hug me
Would you praise me
Would you kiss me?
Last edited by [FnG] Rotten_Emu on Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image Image

User avatar
[FnG] pyxie.T32
Posts: 5403
Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2003 2:37 pm
Location: London UK
Contact:

Postby [FnG] pyxie.T32 » Mon Jul 04, 2005 10:04 am

From the latest ones I like "or all of the above the most" it is nicely composed, it has good structure and you have managed to (deliberatly/accidently) get some iambic pentameter stuff going on, good job.
I obviously have no idea how dificult it is to write a poem in a non native tongure so congratulations on that as well, very nicely done!
Image

Gravity, not just a good idea, ...It's the LAW!

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Mon Jul 11, 2005 3:53 pm

I don't know why This one is not in this thread allready... and if it is please slap me because I couldn't find it...

Beauty

If it would be a person,
What would it look like and how would it smell?
If it would be a myth,
Would it be a hero or a king that fell?
If it would be an animal,
Would it be free or around its neck a bell?
If it would be a plant,
Would it be plucked by a man to sell?

It’s not a person, plant nor myth,
And without an answer I’d have to live.
‘cause beauty is an indefinable thing,
Like winter, fall, summer and spring.
People don’t want to admit,
Beauty, for everybody, is a perfect fit

-----------

also after what happened in London... well you know how I work by now...

London (for lack of better title)

Taking what you cannot give,
Does that make you feel more manly?
You may have bombed a station,
You may have killed some men,
You will not destroy our countries
You will not kill our hope

Doing this has gotten you
The thing you didn’t want
We will not fear those who did
Not care for all those people
We do not fear your bombs
We will not fall for you

Never could any God
Have said upon to you
To do what you just did.
That is not a God his will
It cannot be, it never will.
For you God is an excuse

Damned be you and all alike
Damned be your faulty Gods
Because nothing you can do
Will kill our hope and heart
Because nothing you can do
Will make you escape your Fate

----------------------

and another one based on what happened in London... or terrorism in general I think...

Honor in Words

Fight with words, but do not kill,
Against those who can fight back.
There is no honor in what you did,
But then perhaps that’s what you lack.

Without honor we are beasts
Nothing more then cats and dogs
Without words we are beasts
Nothing more then worms and hogs

Maybe you do not care
About the lives you just took
But to some live means more
Then some dusty old book

Without honor we are beasts
Nothing more then cats and dogs
Without words we are beasts
Nothing more then worms and hogs

----------------------------------

And finally one totally unrelated to the London Bombings... Real fresh this one, Just in...

Deny

What's the use of denying
if it just won't disappear,
what's the use of trying
if we don't try what we fear,
what's the use of avoiding
the things we have to face,
what's the use of denying
if we can just embrace?

---------------------------------------------

in addition I have updated all my poems to match the ones in the word file (grammar and spelling fixed... etc) the link is still active so you can still download it...

I hope you're still enjoying reading my poems... again if you have any comments, Ideas, suggestions, feedback in any form... please share them with me... I still want to improve myself...
Image Image

User avatar
[FnG] LonesomeDrifter
Posts: 589
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 12:46 am
Location: Montana, USA
Contact:

Postby [FnG] LonesomeDrifter » Sat Aug 13, 2005 6:48 pm

You have some very good poems there. Things such as the ones in the "Wishful Thinking" post I can especially relate to (I did not read it all though, sorry, I just got up and thus far my attention span has not come into fool boot :P :shock: ). But, I feel I should lend you some of my feelings, which I hope are constructive. Many of your poems, while good, still have a high presence of ameteurism: There are phrases that are poorly articulated, and sometimes you use words that comprimise the tone of the poem ("lame" is not a poetic term, though I am pretty sure that was for humor :wink: ). These are things that you can go back to and think hard about what would better be said to replace whatever term or phrase such that it would more artistically articulate the feeling you are trying to get across. This happens rare, and usually the rest is very good, but when this does happen, like I said, it seems to compromise the whole poem. Basically, you need to try and keep a tone, a ryhthm throughout the poem, and you cannot break that rythm. This is true for songs as it is true for poetry; you my hear a song, and it is going great, but then the singer adds a line that does not match the rest of the song, the words are of poor choice, and that messes up a perfectly good song.

So, again, your poems are very good, but I personally feel that you need to go back, look at them, find the off rythm terms and phrases, and think of something that would flow more in terms of the rest of the poem and the generall feeling you are trying to articulate.

Beauty, I look and I feel despair,
Beauty, I gaze and I find happiness,
But then, such feelings fade,
Such emotions disappear,
There is beauty no more,
I leave with emptiness,
And think about would could've been,
But there in the midst of once beauty,
Lay a needle, unremoved

That, I feel describes your poems :wink: (lol, don't look at me like I am telling you I am perfect, I just felt like joining in in the fun :D )

Good job man, you really got something going there for you, :D

Peace,
Drifter

P.S. Nice puppet :wink: (refers to avatar)
Image

User avatar
[FnG] Rotten_Emu
Posts: 10678
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:17 pm
Location: Das Boot, Groningen, Groningen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Postby [FnG] Rotten_Emu » Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:59 pm

Thanks for the feedback Lonesome, and although I find it very helpful I will not go back and change my past poems again... (call me stubborn or something). Also, some poems aren't meant to be all poetic, rhyme or in a single rythm... some poems try to get soemthing across by the absence of rhyme and rythm... try not to say it's a flaw, rather ask yourself why I did it this way...

For your and everybody's enjoyment... some more Poems! *and the crowd goes "Yey!"*

==============================================

Go Away

No matter what I write
It just won’t go away.
No matter what I shout
The feelings will just stay.
No matter how hard I try,
It seems so useless now.
No matter what language,
The words won’t be enough
No matter how much time,
It is never enough for love.

==============================================

Go Away (2)

A drink can numb your senses,
But the feelings stay.
A drink can knock you out.
But It won’t change what you say.
A drink might seem right,
But it doesn’t solve a thing
A drunk might be always right,
But he can make a mistake.
And it takes a honest heart,
To give in to the truth.
A look might be enough,
But it won’t return your youth.

==============================================

Risk (I Dream of You Pt. 2)

You are no longer in my dreams,
They have turned to nightmares now.
I will not let you look into my eyes
Afraid that the pain will show.

I never knew what I had to do.
It was never clear, not a moment
I can no longer feel good or right
Thinking of how wrong it went.

I had to take a risk and that is what I did
But I don’t think it really mattered.
It only made clear to me and others
What I knew, my dreams were shattered

Never will I bother anyone with dreams
Because what do they really mean?
They really are nothing more then thoughts
Inside my head, still going unseen.
Image Image

User avatar
[FnG] Lert
Posts: 6462
Joined: Thu May 13, 2004 12:38 am

Postby [FnG] Lert » Sat Aug 27, 2005 9:51 pm

Interesting poems, RE. Very Goth. :P
Image
Zambah Abagarabzh! Ram Harman Hambargarz!


Return to “Everything Else”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests